Brace yourself, long description is long, today I will tell you the "story of my life",
(slept the whole day yesterday, woke up and decided to do this meme to warm-up, just because dreams start to make me lose my memories, I want to use this as a document in order to make me remember what I have experiented)
since the layers of decription on this are not long enough to tell "my story", so, here the details...
I had a very good start as seeing paintings from earlier, my style didn't start with manga, I was inspried by the "lemon colors" from Monet, Manet, Goya's painting, just good at seeing,pretty bad at painting colors, more influences are the comic name "XIII", experienced Chinese Ink, because my "always" gloomy mood, I was in love with Headless Horseman from Sleepy Hollow, obsessed with people's heads, wanted eveything that bow down to me (so I can chop their heads).
Another obsession came was drawing small details, the first 2 paintings are something that I could never do them again, still my proud till now, knowing more about myself that I'm good at expressing my emotions through the way of linearts I did, drew a lot about my fears (babies, dolls,clown, being alone etc...)
First time going to a Rock Concert, started listening to metal, somehow, "dark music" like extreme black,goth music, dark ambient, dark wave etc...fit me and my gloomy mood. got a nib pen (trong tiếng việt gọi là bút sắt í) as present on my birthday, discoverd myself pretty good at drawing strong strokes and linearts ,(that's why I always got good marks for my nib-pen homework in University, well, and teachers's beloved students even my great absences through years).
A very big change this year, not on artworks, it's photography, as you can see from the very beginning of the time I joined DA (the reason I joine DA because of a lot of great photographers like BlueBlack<<<if you still remember her, yeah, it's now, and lots more, I wish you could see their amazing works at that time, but mostly removed because too many people stole their works ;_____;, I was most known by my Photography, got my first Panasonic camera as a present for my birthday, found out that I was good at taking photos, espcially people's portraits, first experienced photomanipulation either, but my style between photography and artwork were literally different, still bad at coloring, limited at basic colors like black,white,gray,red.
Randomly going to University, because I was too proud of myself being a "talented student" of the teachers, going out a lot, wasted time in fashion , makeup,accessories,making jewelry...etc"abandoned" my family, I was a very selfish person, didn't care anything else but myself, more important, I saw Art just a random stuff that I showed people that I could take good photography together with some random "artworks".
some greatest depression appeared, it like, everything come to a maximum level, you can not stand it anymore, it blew up your brains with all the emotions, I could not deal with stresses anymore, feeling hopeless, hate people, wishing upon the stars that everything should just die, my mind filled up the ideas committing suicide,and tried once, but hahaha mother of god, it was too hurt, and I hated die ugly without thinking, so I gave up.
well, come to say these stuffs here, I find it's funny that many people that I see so far on facebook or other blogs, cutting their wrists or their bodies somewhere, shouting out to the world on internet to know that they want to die because of their depressions, let me tell you this, if you really want to die, just die silently, or you want to kill somebody, just kill them already, if you don't want to get caught,kill and break their skull and teeth, burn their finger prints and tongue, cut in to small pieces, put in the nylons, or eat them, don't try to be dangerous baby., I'm a good girl that love people so I don't mind doing stuffs like that. okay, so, this was the worst time.
After that so called "suicide", still trying get over those depressions, drown myself reading mangas, watching TV series, doing some random drawings, and then, on a really random day of June, I watched the first episode of Bleach, because of my "always" gloomy mood, the moment Ichigo kicked Rukia at their first met made me laugh so hard, then, the feeling how I admired the epicness of the fights, the soundtracks, how they say Bankai, how I hated Kuchiki Byakuya for his will to kill Rukia, and cried when he used his body to protect her, because my brain work pretty fast and remember things that worth remembering well, I locked myself and finished 263 eps together with manga in 2 weeks (what a great time hahaha), a very whole new life of being fangirl began, paired up Byakuya and Rukia and uploaded them on DA, still a bit shy because I showed my lovely weird fandom to people who add watch me before and was afraid not being accepted, but, fortunenately, some people have gave their supports to me, especially when I saw showed her kind words for my very drawings of Byakuya and Rukia(oops deleted them while cleaning up DA =___= ), you should know how it touched my weak heart, I always appreciate you all from this first beginning.
so, that's why you can see how Bleach is always an important part in my gallery, it came to a perfect time to save me, it maybe just a normal or meaningless shounen manga to some people, but it means a lot to me, a true life-saver I think, a lot people know me were really surpised when I became an obsessed otaku like this hahaha.
this was also the time I first got my tablet and got into digital works.
Started to pay more attentions on many great artist on DA, I made an important decision that was "A 365 day-art" project, to improve myself for the time I had wasted over those years, at first, it was really hard and frustrating,( the time before a painting a month was always too much for me), thank god I have a brain that can work and learn from mistakes really fast, le improvements started appeared day by day, with my lovely simple and broad- minded, I realized lots things about myself could do, like strong brush strokes from earlier, putting more colors in painting, using effects etc..., together of this, some people came to my gallery insulted my photography with mean words, something like I used my body as soft porn (wtf) to get attentions, such great chance, I made a promise myself that I stopped taking photos untill the top popular in my gallery is my painting, not photography anymore. I almost there hahaha, that's why means so much to me ;______;
well, this project was last till May, because of a random sickness (it was a great sickness, since I rarely got sick even my body is weak), started to listening to brighter music, and my new taste met K-pop (I remembered, after Bleach, Kpop was a big shock to those who already know me, especially most of "metal"fans seeing Kpop as shit), hahaha, I took my short and long hiatus trip in order watching all Korean reality shows, K-pop groups, celebrities documents, change my taste(already good hoho) in fashion and make-up, another great development after Bleach in my life-style,care more about family, and less "real friend".,more open to people on internet and real life,( it's funny for some people called me an Internet-worm not knowing anything outside, please, I'm a natural diplomacy and good at manipulating people, trust me, if you meet me, you'll know).
The long hiatus trip continuted to this March, I decided to start all over again the "365 day art", but, the most important period was the "Byakuya's condition" as most of Bleach fans already known ;_____;, because I'm a sensitive, gloomy fangirl, I think it became a trauma to me (even broke up with my ex still didn't hurt me as the Byakuya's condition... oh my gawddd), so cruel, but it was a big step for me and my paintings, in order to make people feel my pains together with mine ;_____;, but this incident also has a good side, it looked like bringing people closer when they have to suffer the same pain, and it made me better at communicating others on DA I think...well, sorry for art-rape you everyday, this project has a bad side that it usually gives me some random inspirations that make me spaced out commissions from customers a lot, no worry, at the beginning of 2013, I will stop it for the sake of your inbox message hahaha...
for someone say that I can not do works in traditional as good as digital, please, I'm confident to say that it can be as good or maybe better, because the technique and style I do digital arts almost same as I do traditional ones when it comes to do painting freehand in one layer, but it also make me realize that I'm bad at watercolor, and good in oil painting style...(still have no idea how watercolor artists like bạn have enough patiences waiting for their works dried and add another layers with details like that, seriously)
wow you have had such a life. and i can totally relate to you with bleach and kpop! bleach was my first anime/manga thingie and it really made me think about life and open up to other people and learn to be myself. kpop made me more worldly and appreciate all types of music. i think they have both helped me be a better person, and they are both there for me when no one else is.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More